Highly Sensitive Person

I am currently reading The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron.

I was referred to it on a site about Dabrowski's Overexcitabilities. Dr. Aron doesn't specifically link her Sensitivities with giftedness. Although she does write that many gifted people are highly sensitive.

On her website she has a self-test and a checklist for your child. She describes the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) as having a sensitive nervous system, an awareness of subtleties in his/her surroundings, and being more easily overwhelmed when in a highly stimulating environment.

There is also a wikipedia page about studies by people other than Dr. Aron, including Jung. An excerpt - research shows that about 15-20% of humans and higher animals have a nervous system that is more sensitive to subtleties. This means that regular sensory information is processed and analyzed to a greater extent, which contributes to creativity, intuition, sensing implications and attention to detail, but which may also cause quick over-stimulation and over-arousal.

So far this book seem to be about reframing our past experiences with the idea that being sensitive, while being difficult at times, is beneficial and that we need to reclaim our right to be sensitive and protect ourselves so that we can function at our best. It also has exercises for reframing your own feelings regarding your sensitivities and helps you see them as assets.

When I was growing up I was neglected to the point where I wasn't supposed to show that I had any needs. So, of course, I was not allowed to label myself as "sensitive." I was often accused of being "too sensitive." I grew up thinking that my sensitivities were "weird" and possibly selfish and I tried to pretend they didn't exist and I would force myself into overarousing situations because I didn't feel I had the right to protect myself.

I also mislabeled many of my sensitivities as "pet peeves" or "weird reactions." While reading this book I have gone back and tried accept them as sensitivities that are part of me.

Some of my physical sensitivities:

Aural – I cannot tune out sounds. Zoe whistling, singing, water dripping, dog barking, a creaking door, cats fighting at 3 a.m. somewhere on my block, etc. I am a light sleeper because I hear everything and sometimes I have a hard time concentrating when there are noises.

Smell – I have a keen sense of smell. I have described it as being “assaulted”by smells. I also smell things that other people can’t. This has manifested in me being the only one to smell that the house was filling with gas when one of the cats turned on the stove top burner without the flame, being the one to smell the mold in the basement, etc

Sight – I am easily over-aroused by visual clutter. I can not relax when things are cluttery and not in their place. But I am also very moved by visual beauty, or even grotesque visages.

Touch – Tickling hurts me and I also have very sensitive skin.

Empathy – I pick up on the nervousness and awkwardness of others and jump to fill in the air space to comfort them. I feel so much empathy for the plight of others that I do not take care of myself in social situations but feel like I need to do whatever I can to make the other people comfortable, entertained, or, at least, distracted. Then later I am all frazzled. The book The Highly Sensitive Person gave me some good advice for dealing with this.

My body does not always have the usual reaction to medicine, caffeine, alcohol, etc. I have the reverse reaction or an over reaction.

Disney World, Chuckie Cheeses, The Fair, places like that make me overaroused because I like to have a calm system and it upsets the calm. I go and do them anyway but I have a hard time enjoying it because there are too many people, too much noise, too fast walking, and the system isn’t enough to calm me.

The thing that overarouses my sensitivity the most is me. I was not raised to listen to my body's needs or to respect my own reactions. I always put my needs aside, first for my mother, later for whomever seemed to need me.

Since I started reading this book I am starting to take better care of myself and not chastise myself when I can not do everything all the time. The book talks about a lot of the assets of being highly sensitive, some are:

creativity
intuition
surprising wisdom
empathy for others
quicker to sense danger
see the consequences of an action before others do
unusually creative and productive
thoughtful
reflective
notice things more than other people
a more understanding friend
good listeners
not willing to hurt people
A good counterpoint to the non-sensitive

There are others, check out the website or book if your interested.