What I am Reading and Reviews

Books I have Finished Reading

The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron

This book really opened my eyes and allowed me to reframe a lifetime of feeling apart from and outside of the majority of society. Many traits I felt were "issues" or something weird about me are explained in The Highly Sensitive Person as blessings, benefits, and advantages.

I feel like the Highly Sensitive Person is part of the gifted continuum, but one does not have to be gifted to be HSP, and not all gifted people are HSP. My husband would say that he is not empathic or exceptionally aware of other people's feelings or motivations. But he does have sensitivities of the five senses.

Try the self test and if you score Highly Sensitive I recommend this book.

The Highly Sensitive Person's Workbook by Elaine Aron

This book is wonderful! I am just finishing it now. There is much more therapeutical work in this book than I expected. Aron takes the pain, isolation and confusion HSP's have experienced by seeing and experiencing things differently from the norm very seriously.

The first book convinced me to honor and esteem my differences, especially in regards to being an HSP (but not just that.) The workbook invited me to do many exercises and activities to reframe deep seated issues I have about my differences.

It is one thing to understand intellectually that your differences are not bad and can actually be a benefit to your life and others. But it is another thing to really know the truth in that statement, to let it sink in and change your negative self talk, and reframe issues going back to childhood with more compassion for yourself and from a realistic understanding mature viewpoint.

The Sociopath Next Door

This book was for research for my novel. It was depressing at times. There were things in here that wish weren't true. But, it was useful to me. And I do enjoy these kind of shocking true crime/sociology books.

A Gift to Myself - Charles Whitfield

This is another therapy book, assigned to me by my therapist. It gets into some very deep stuff. Whitfield says people can take 3 to 5 years to work through the exercises. I scoffed. But I have had to put it aside many times because it was too much. I wasn't ready to move forward and needed to spend more time working through some deep issues.

This book really isn't for everyone. But, if you have a dysfunctional family of origin and had a dysfunctional childhood this book will really open your eyes to how the self-protective adaptive behaviors you had to have as a child to survive are maladaptive as an adult. As you become aware of the ways you are reacting to the world, your spouse, yoru boss, your friends, etc in the ways you reacted to a dysfunctional parent you can stop yourself and learn new healthier behaviors.

On one hand I think everyone could benefit from a book like this. We are all our parent's child and even if we think our parents were "good enough" they still might not have supported us in the best ways. This kind of self reflection is how you begin to take responsibility for your behavior, to the people you are in charge of, in relationships with and, most importantly, your behavior to yourself.

Books I am Still Reading

Living with Intensity

This is more about Dabrowski and this Theories of Overexcitabilities and Positive Disintegration. This is not the type of book I read cover to cover. I skip around and read chapters out of order. I am reading it for specific knowledge and, since I am a busy person I do not always have time to read the parts that are unrelated to my current questions.


The Introvert Advantage - Marti Olden Laney

So, I'm an Introvert. I am kind of surprised at this. I stopped behaving like an introvert in junior high. I am still trying to figure out why that is. Maybe it had to do with dating. Likely it is a lot more complicated than that. Since then I have many times felt like Bilbo before he goes off to Rivendale "Like butter spread over too much bread." For a long time I was strung out on others people's needs and expectations. Part of being a HSp and also an "adult child" is being overly aware of the needs of others and feeling overly responsible. Maybe I felt different in so many ways that I couldn't hide that I choose this aspect of myself to ignore and force to fit in to societies expectations.

This book is very easy to read, and nicely affirming. If you ever thought you might be introverted or have mixed feeling about being one I recommend this book. (Or if your spouse or child is introverted)

Books I Just Got And Haven't Started Yet.

The Lolita Effect

Grrrr

The Nice Girl Syndrome - Beverly Engel

For me and Zoe. People think I am assertive but I still have work to do. I want to start earlier with Zoe because the pressure to be "nice" above protecting yourself from harm starts early and is very pervasive for women.

The Gifted Adult - Mary-Elaine Jacobsen

Just got this today. Was recommended by some online friends.

Please Understand Me II - David Keirsey

I am totally into the Myers Brigg Personality Indicator Type theory right now. This is one of the main books on Myers Brigg and Jung.